I've decided to 'come out' not in a sexual sense, but about depression. I read a
very well written piece (as her's always are) this morning, and it really
spoke to me. I 'shared' it on Facebook without thinking, then when I
did think, I had the thought: “Oh no, that was public, there are
all sorts of people who'll see it, and put two and two together, i.e.
that I have the same condition...that I'll be judged in a negative
light etc. etc. Then I thought “...damn it' – why should I care.
So...here am I 'loud and proud'. Now we
come to terminology...I don't like to say that I suffer from
depression. That's the language of a victim, and whilst it's taken me
a long time to realise it, I'm a very strong person. Maybe stick to
facts, I have had a number of serious depressive episodes dating from
my early 20s. When I say serious, I mean SERIOUS...but I've been
fortunate:
I
have a loving, supportive partner, family and friends.
I've
had excellent medical care (well, there was that South African
doctor who wanted to give me ECT, but that's another story [which
believe it or not is quite a funny one]).
Thanks
to a very generous pay off, I can afford to work part-time.
Like
anyone who has had a chronic, life threatening health issue, I have
to be careful:
All
good advice for everyone...but when I let things slip the
consequences can be...serious. So I have another injunction:
It's
hard though. I can become consumed by work, a friend's emotional
crisis, not sleep too well or even be knocked flying by a virus, and
find myself struggling again.
HOWEVER...none
of this makes me a weak person...it's not that I'm in some way
lesser. In fact, to have survived what I've survived, means that I'm
strong, very strong. I'm done with being secret. It's just how it is.
